


Tic Tock

by Turtlez



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Depressing Thoughts, Ghosts, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 14:50:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7622923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turtlez/pseuds/Turtlez
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roaming around, always thinking about the tragic past that haunts them- but, at least one of them gets a second chance at life. Reincarnation/ Ghost au.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tic Tock

**Author's Note:**

> This actually something I wrote waaaaaay back, but I never got around to posting it until now. Enjoy!

Everything seems to have lost it’s meaning. There seems to be no point in anything. People are born to die; things are meant to disappear. Yet, people continue to struggle, trying to find purpose in their lives. They try to leave a mark on the world. They try to invent new things- things that will last forever.

People love to defy. People hate to comply. They dislike being powerless, therefore they oppose the things that are meant to be, until their last breath. People are stubborn mules.

Yet, he finds himself admiring those stubborn mules. In all honesty, he’s jealous of them. He wants to struggle. He wants to aspire. He wants to be like them, but he can’t. He will never be like them, so he contents himself with watching them. He just watches them, because he’s the one that has lost all meaning. He is the one that has disappeared. He is the one that defies the most. He is the one that is powerless, but unlike them he really can not do anything about it.

Throughout the time that he has roamed the earth, he just watches. He watches, as people rush. He watches, as people enter their horse carriages. He watches, as they run to make it on time. For a while, that’s all he sees: people trying to make the most of their time.

In a time he can no longer remember, his life used to revolve around time. He was controlled by such things like roll calls, appointments, and deadlines. He remembers thinking: Life is too short to waste time; But, the same saying seems so stupid now. Now that he has enough time to do anything. Although, he can’t do anything anymore.

He watches, as everything around him changes. He walks, as others come and go. There isn’t a point in keeping time.

He’s been roaming the earth for so long. He’s been the same for so long. He’s forgotten so many things. Now, all he can do is walk and watch. He can’t recall anything. Therefore, his mind is always blank, as he walks. On the rare occasion he does remember something, he forgets it soon after. Nothing stays in his mind for long, but it always leaves an ache in his heart.

Sometimes he stops walking. It’s not because his feet are tired. He hasn’t felt tired in the longest. He just stops to see himself. He stands in front of a puddle, looking at himself. Sometimes he forgets how he looks like and takes these opportunities to recall his form.

When he looks at his reflection, he can tell that he’s a soldier. He is wearing a uniform with the emblem of two wings, the wings of freedom. It surprises him. He can recall something. He wants to remember more, but someone steps on the puddle and distorts the surface, rippling his image. It ruins his concentration. Therefore, he walks away from the puddle, losing interest in himself and forgetting about the emblem.

He walks through crowds of people. He walks through empty streets. He walks alone. He just walks. It’s lonely.

At times, he sits down. He stares up at the blue sky, reaching out for it. The sky being the only thing that stays the same, except when it turns red. He always tries to avoid looking at the red sky. The color bringing him sadness. He doesn’t know why. Maybe, because red symbolizes passion. Either a hateful passion or a loving passion. It could also be the strong resemblance to the color of blood. It might even be those two reasons. He doesn’t know. He just dislikes it.

The days that red dominates the skies, he looks towards the ground. He doesn’t want to see it. He doesn’t like to see it. Instead, he looks at his boots, the straps that wrap around his body, and the three-dimensional gear. There it is. Another memory comes to him just like that, just like before. He inspects the machinery. Somehow, he can never manage to remove the gear. It is a part of him.

It’s weird. Some things he can always remember with less effort than others, such as knowing that he is a soldier, he has an attached three-dimensional gear, and he has a deep dislike of red skies. The things he doesn’t know: his name, and why. Why he walks? Why he’s here? Why he watches? Why he waits? Why he even does anything? Why can’t he answer any of the questions?

People never talk to him; he never talks to them. He would talk, but no one can hear him. No can can see him. It’s lonely. Although, the more he walks, the more the languages change. He still manages to understand them, because he learns by constantly watching and listening. He just listens to the passing conversations around him, but he never places too much importance on the subject. It’s just to occupy himself for a while. It doesn’t matter to him. Nothing matters to him.

He walks. He walks through buildings, he walks through houses, he walks through people, but no one cares. The people he goes through, always, turning around for a second at the chill, but never place too much importance on the occurrence and they keep walking.

Sometime on the rare occasion, he can touch things. It can never be anything with a pulse, but he can lift, throw, kick, smash inanimate objects. He knows he has gotten a lot of practice he is good at it, because he can do it easily. He doesn’t have to get mad, sad, or desperate to move anything like the others. Although, he doesn’t do it often, because he does not see the point in doing anything of the sort. He just does it sometimes to remember that he is still there, still existent.

He looks up. It’s a red sky. He can’t help but stand stop and stare. All the painful memories rushing back.

The sky is red. It is as red as the blood from his comrades. The comrades that have fallen to the titans.

He just wants to stop. He doesn’t want to fight anymore. He’s tired, but this is the last operation. He will not need to be fight titans anymore. After this, the world will be rid of those abominations.

As he moves through the air with his three-dimensional gear, he can smell something salty and moist in the air. It smells like nothing that he has smelt before. Although, the salty smell reminds him of the stories- the stories of a vast body of water that contains more salt than the merchants inside the walls can sell- of the ocean. He concludes that the ocean is close, considering he can smell it from his location in the middle of the forest.

The thought of the ocean in the back of his mind, he continues to slash the necks of the titans. He watches, as their bodies begin to evaporate, once they hit the floor. In this last operation, so many have died. It hurts, but their deaths won’t be in vain. It’s the day that humanity ends it all.

After this mission, he is going to be happy with his brat. They are gonna live a long and happy life with one another, because they promised. They promised it, in the middle of the night as they cuddled, after making love. They said they would be together, so why? Why does it turn out differently?

He slices through four more mounds of flesh, and that is it. He has just slain the last of their kind. There are no more large, heavy footsteps, no more growls, and no more fear. He finally has the chance to be happy. He can be happy. Humanity’s strongest has the chance to be happy with Humanity’s hope. They deserve it, after all they’ve done, after all they’ve lost.

“Corporal!” Someone yells, from behind him. “Corporal Levi! It’s Eren Jaeger.”

At the name, the corporal turns around, looking at the woman soldier to continue.

“Sir, Eren Jaeger has received major injuries, during his titan form. His injuries are not healing,” She hesitates for a moment, before she yells, “He’s dying, Corporal Levi!”

The words seem to bring him back to reality, brining him back to the cruel world they live in. He walks, because the only thing he can do is walk. He walks to the location, the woman leading him. He doesn’t want to see, but he can’t leave Eren alone, especially in his last moments.

Past large trees and shrubbery, in the middle of a clearing, lays his young lover, his brat, his Eren. His brat is breathing shallowly. Eren looks so broken, multiple injuries around his body, his tan skin turning pale. He is covered in blood. As quick as a whip, Eren notices him, as he walks into the clearing. Eren offers him a pained smile.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry. If I didn’t…transform… They-they would have… Died.” The tears stream down his face, and he coughs up handfuls of blood.

Levi sits down, untying his cavort, and wipes away the blood. He places Eren’s head on his thighs, keeping his head elevated. He wipes away the tears, and brushes his brown hair out of his eyes.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to worry about it anymore, Eren.”

Eren raises his hand, trembling as he reaches out for him. “Levi.” he whispers, because he’s slipping, he’s using the last of his strength.

Levi grasps his hands, holding onto him tightly. Then, the memories of the salty, moist smell comes back to him. He remembers Eren’s dream of seeing the ocean. He remembers his shared confessions of yearning to see the ocean. The one thing he has always wanted in this cruel world. Therefore, he lifts Eren’s body off the floor, feeling his lover’s blood seep through his uniform. He has to do this for Eren. “Please, hold on, just for a while longer.” Levi whispers into Eren’s ear, desperately.

He doesn’t waste another second. He takes off with Eren in his arms, ignoring the questioning yells from his comrades. He rushes. He moves through the air effortlessly, moving faster than he has ever. He can feel Eren digging his fingers into his shirt, weakly. His brat rooting himself to this world, for a moment longer, just for him. He’ll make sure that it is all worth it.

At the fast pace he moves through the air, he makes it to the edge of the forest in a short amount of time. His desperation and his desire motivating him to accomplish his lover’s last wish. At the lack of trees and tall building, he stops using his three-dimensional maneuver gear, opting to run the rest of the way. It isn’t long before gets to his destination, the edge of a cliff. The view is dazzling, breathtaking, and more than he had ever imagined.

“Corporal,” Eren says weakly, “It’s the ocean…I got… To see it… With you.” His brat smiles at him, a real smile not a forced one. “Thank.. Y-you.”

“You’re welcome.” Levi sits down, positioning Eren to look at the ocean. Eren’s back against his chest, letting him feel his brat’s decreasing heart rate. It make his heart break. Levi hugs him from the back, letting his tears soak into Eren’s shirt. He wishes that it could be different. He wishes this wasn’t the last time he could see the ocean with Eren, but he can’t do anything about it. He intertwined his hand with Eren, allowing himself to become drenched in even more blood. He doesn’t care. He would live in the filth of the earth, if everything could just be different.

“It’s…okay,” Eren says, between breaths, looking at the ocean. “We’ll meet again… And we’ll be together forever after that.”

“Yeah. You’re right, we will meet again. I’ll always look for you, I’ll make sure to find you, and I’ll make you happy; so go ahead and close your eyes, because I’ll be there when you open them up again.” Levi says, keeping his voice from trembling. He needs to be strong. In Eren’s final moments, he has to make Eren feel secure. He has to reassure him.

Eren smiles. “I love you, Levi.”

“I love you too, Eren. I love you so much.”

Then, its game over. Those are the last words the person he loves ever hears.

He hates looking at the red sky. The same memories always flooding back. If he looks at the red sky he doesn’t walk anymore, he runs. He runs through every building, looking through everything, searching for him. He can’t break his promise. He has to find Eren.

He runs, until he is in the middle of a valley. He looks towards both sides. There are men lined up, marching towards each other. After they are close enough, they take aim and fire at the opposing side with their muskets. They fire their arms the bullets passing through his body. People fall and die. They bleed and they suffer. They cry and beg. It’s war, but it is human against human. The whole scene disgusts him, so he walks away.

He walks past everything. He doesn’t remember running. He forgets everything. The sky is blue and he is a soldier. It is a simple fact.

Times that other people like him appear, always, surprise him. When they make eye contact with him, see him walk through something, or look at his uniform. Once in a while, they will follow him or will reach out for him. He stops walking, when he notices it. He stares into their eyes, and asks, “What is it?”

Most of the time they will tell him the same things. They tell him their background story. They ask him, “What is keeping your soul from finding peace?”

He doesn’t answer. He never answers, because he cannot remember. Sometimes, he takes a little bit of time to enjoy their company, but in the end they always become twisted. They go crazy. They come to hate the living. They hate the way the living always complain about their life. They hate the way that all they do is complain, and never enjoy living. Therefore, they always do things to make them suffer, giving them a reason to complain. They turn into monsters.

In the end, he never stops being a soldier. He saves the living, he slashes the necks of the monsters. He decapitates and destroys the only ones that can give him company. The three-dimensional maneuver gear being useful with the blades that are equipped into it. No matter how many times he uses the blades, dulls them, and disposes of them, they always come back. The blades seem to be the only thing that can destroy monsters. It’s useful.

The more he walks, the more he values the things he sees and hears. He can never come to detest humans. He can never come to detest something so beautiful. He can never allow himself to become a monster. He’s a soldier, humanity’s strongest. He protects humankind, because he can see the value in everything. He can see the importance in every human, because no matter how small or insignificant a person thinks that they are, they are not, they make the smallest change that leads to the biggest difference.

He loves humans; he hates monsters.

He always sees more people like him, at the times of world disasters. People always seem to have a lot of trouble accepting their loss, accepting their death. In a way it is really ironic the way that he consoles them and helps them move on, when he cannot do it for himself. Although, it’s okay, because he prevents them from becoming ugly, disgusting demons.

Whenever they turn their backs on humanity, they grow large and distorted, their eyes drain of all color and turn completely black. They are demons. He never has a problem taking them down.

He never looks for a fights. He just walks. If he happens to come across one of them he takes out a blade and destroys them. Then, he walks away.

It’s a very different time from his own. He’s surprised after so many years, after so many decades, after so many centuries, he is still human. He is not a monster. He is still a soldier for humankind. Maybe, it will never change.

On this day, from the moment he sees the sun come up, he can feel something different. It is not a bad or ominous feeling, it is just weird. It is like something big is going to happen. He feels much more attentive on this day.

He stands in front of a hospital. Something telling him to stand there and wait. Therefore, he does. He stands there, until he sees a couple walk towards the entrance.

The woman’s eyes and face instantly capture his attention, looking at her reminds him of his young lover. He can remember all of his times with him. The man holding onto the woman’s arm, leading her into the building is someone he recognizes. It is from a long time ago, but the memories are quickly resurfacing. It is Grisha Jaeger, Eren’s father.

His focus moves to the bump that has formed inside of the woman’s stomach. They are about to have a child. He walks after them, following them into the hospital, and listening to their conversation.

“How are you feeling, Carla.” Grisha asks the woman, looking nervous and excited.

She smiles, taking nice and even breaths, keeping calm. She places a hand over her stomach, staring at the bump lovingly, “I’m doing well. The contractions are getting closer, it seems the little one has gotten excited.”

“He already wants to come out and meet us.” The man comments, before checking into the hospital and being led to the delivery room.

Time passes by slowly for him, even though, it has only been an hour since the couple’s arrival. He feels excited and on the edge of his seat. It isn’t long, before a nurse walks into the room, checking up on Carla and giving her directions.

“Okay, hon,” the nurse says, spreading her out onto position. “I don’t want to hear any screaming from you. I just want you to push, do you understand? The doctor will be here soon.”

As the time progresses, the more that Carla seems to be in pain. The more Grisha tries to comfort her. Grisha even sits next to her, wanting to take her hand to let her squeeze it to subdue her pain. Instead, she grabs onto his ponytail, pulling his hair, pulling his head onto the bed and dragging it across the comforter. He doesn’t yell, simply grits his teeth and tries to get away from her with no luck.

“Hon, I’m going to ask you to let go of his hair.” The nurse says, “We don’t want hairs flying around here.” It takes a while but Carls finally lets go. She clamps her hands on the handles beside her, knuckles turning white. She looks about ready to scream, and the nurse speaks, “Are you going to scream?” The nurse asks mockingly. “Are you going to scream. Come on, hon. Didn’t I tell you not to scream.”

It isn’t long, before the doctor comes into the room.

He always keeps beside Carla, making sure to give her some privacy. Throughout the ordeal, he just stands next to Carla hoping that he isn’t imaging anything. He has waited so long. A cry fills the room. He rushes to the baby’s side, looking as they clean and wash him. The baby’s eyes still closed. They hand him to the mother and she has a huge, tired smile on her face. He keeps staring at the wailing little bundle and his heart clenches, because it is him.

“Hello, little man. We’ve been waiting a long time for you. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Carla says, trying to comfort the little crying child.

The nurse walks through him, but he ignores the feeling. He just focuses on the crying baby. “What is his name.” She asks. Before he can even control himself, he has tears in his eyes.

“Eren. Eren Jaeger”

Levi smiles. In all the years that he has walked the earth, he finally smiles. The moment the smile decorates his face, the little bundle of joy opens his eyes and focuses on him. He can feel tears rush down his cheeks, “You see, Eren. I promised I would be here, when you opened your eyes again.”

Time seems to matter to matter again, all of a sudden. The moment he is able to see those vibrant green eyes, he feels that time slows down. He begins to take in every moment, instead of letting it pass him through. He has finally stopped and just starts to look at everything. His main focus being on the small bundle in the woman’s arms.

He never leaves the child’s sight. He is too afraid of what will happen if he loses sight of the child. He is scared to forget about what is happening, what he is doing, and then to start roam the earth endlessly again.

He stares at the child, making a promise: he will always be there for him. He wants to make sure to make this little child happy. He wants to make up for all of the sad times he had in the life before. He just wants to make sure everything will be worth it. Even if he can’t see him, feel him, know him, remember him, or love him. He just wants everything to be okay.

It is weird. It is the first time that he has actually desired something, in the longest. He had almost forgotten the feeling but a feeling of fear prickles behind his mind. This is how it all starts. Those that desire something turn into monsters. Those that hurt others to get what they want will always lose their humanity, they will always turn into monsters, but he shoves that thought to the back of his mind. He isn’t doing it for himself. He is doing it for the sake of the person he loves most, so it will always be okay. Everything will be okay.

He just watches over him. He’ll be his guardian angel, his protector, his everything, even if he doesn’t know it.

The stay at the hospital doesn’t last long. The child is healthy and Carla is strong, so they go back home. He had never thought about riding in a car before, but he doesn’t want to lose track of the small child. Therefore, he uses all of his will to be able to touch and sit on the vehicle instead of slipping through and ending up on the floor. He takes the seat next to Eren. Carla and Grisha sitting in the driver and the passenger side of the car.

He enjoys the view, as they drive. He hasn’t really seen the changes that much, but as they zip through all the buildings he can see it clearly. He guesses, it is normal for him to not be impacted by such a change because he has seen it’s gradual process. At least in this life, Eren will have an opportunity to be happy.

The house they arrive to is big. It is a two story house. They park the car in the driveway. He lets himself slip through the car and waits outside. He watches Carla and Grisha walk into their home. The baby being carried inside. He follows them. He lags a few steps behind to examine everything. The first floor has a nice living room, a dinning room, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a guest room. It never takes him long to look around a building, because he can walk through walls.

When the couple bring their child up the staircase, he follows. The second floor is nicely decorated with a picture of the couple on their wedding day. It makes him feel happiness that Eren is able to come into the world with a family that already looks so happy. In the quick survey he does of the second floor, he sees a master bedroom, a baby’s room, two more bathrooms, and two other rooms that seem to serve as offices.

He doesn’t pay much attention to the rest of the rooms, instead he focuses on the baby’s room. He has to give them points. The wall is painted with the scenery of the ocean, different types of figurines of fishes hanging along the wall. The theme they chose must have been the ocean and he is happy that they chose it, knowing Eren it would more than he ever dreamed.

“Look, Eren, look. It’s the ocean.” Carla says, from behind him. He turns around and stares, as they walk into the room. She points at the room, carrying the baby gracefully in her arms. “Daddy and I spent hours doing all of this for you. I hope you like it.”

He smiles. It is perfect. Eren has a happy family, and a happy home. This time, he will be happy. He just has to make sure that he stays happy.

Time allows him to bask in the growth of the young child. Sometimes, as the little baby’s eyes begin to focus, those Caribbean eyes are on him. Although, he quickly dismisses the idea, because no one has ever been able to see him. He thinks that it just might be his wishful thinking. It isn’t possible. No one can ever see him.

Although, it is proven otherwise when the child begins to crawl. Instead of crawling towards the open arms of his mother, he crawls to him. He crawls to nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> If I missed any tags please tell me and I will be glad to add them. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this one-shot.


End file.
